Crisp, white EVERYTHING - sheets, pillows, blankets, clothing, lounge, rug.
Never raises her voice.
Feeds her children only organic, homemade meals.
Keeps the house absolutely, perfectly spotless always.
I've basically just described at least three mothers you follow on Instagram right now.
You know the ones, the ones that you look at their profile and let out a deep sigh whilst thinking "Why can't my house look like that? How does she always look so amazing? How come she looks so good after 5 kids and I'm over here after only two and still look pregnant?" You know exactly what I am talking about.
And then there is me (and majority of the world including these Instagram Mummas ) -
Mixed matched house with no real theme except "tiny crazy people live here and rule the house".
Raises her voice a lot more than she would like to but for fuck sake stop drawing on yourself tiny crazy people!
Feeds her children whatever the hell they will actually eat that night (and you know they will hate it the next time you try to give it to them).
Floor? Oh yes I am sure there is a floor under all these clothes and toys - at least there was, last time I checked, like 3 years ago.
Mothers throughout time have felt the pressure to be the "perfect" mother, but what does that even mean? Is it a mother who stays home with the kids all day, every day, does every pinterest activity with them that she can find, prepares lunches the night before and spends all day slaving over dinner? Is it the mother who balances work and home life like its nothing, that constantly seems to have her shit together? Is it the mother who feels like the biggest hot mess, feels like she can never get on top of everything, often wonders if she does enough for the kids and if they will still want to be her best friend when they are older and prays they don't ever resent her?
Correct answer: they are all the perfect mother. You know why? Because they love their children, they give them a safe and happy home, they would do anything for their kids, they are doing the very bloody best that they can and if they have a shitty day, a shitty week, a shitty month, they just keep on keeping on and know that tomorrow is a new day. They know that their kids love them to the moon and back and they in return love their children with every fibre of their being.
So often I hear my beautiful friends, even strangers on the internet and myself included, compare themselves to other mothers and not realising the amazing job that they are doing because they are too busy wishing they could be like someone else. I feel like, with the rise of social media, came an unrealistic expectation that mothers need to keep magazine worthy homes, pack their kids themed lunches every bloody day, feed their children no sugar and only organic foods, and you know what? If you actually do that, then that is fantastic, but if you don't - you ARE NOT a bad mother.
I truly wish that (and my husband will sit there laughing his ass off because I need to take my own advice) everyone could see themselves the way that the rest of the world sees them. I wish my beautiful friends could realise that they are everything to their children, they ARE supermum to their children and that really, isn't that the only opinion that matters? Those tiny little faces beaming up at you, telling you that you're the best mum ever because you said they can stay up half hour longer than normal.
We need to rise up as a tribe of Motherhood and lift each other up, not tear each other down or constantly compare one another. This Motherhood thing is fucking tough enough as it is, and it can be lonely and there are days you want to cry and you know what? You aren't alone, those Instagram Mums you aspire to be have those days too. And that's what makes us perfect, and wonderful and amazing and real. You are a perfect mother, because your children love you perfectly as you are and for everything you do.
